Dear Eli

Dear Eli,
366 days ago your dad and I were sitting in the living room when something crazy happened. You decided you were ready to meet the world. It wasn't until 15 long hours later that you decided to show your sweet face. By the time we thought this was actually the real thing, we scrambled around the house, it was 1:30am, neither of us talking to each other, just getting everything we needed for the hospital, both acting like we weren't nervous. I would stop and breathe through my contractions which were at that point, very strong and then go on with my packing. We knew our lives and our world were about to be turned up side down. As we left the house we acknowledged that when we returned, it wouldn't just be the two of us anymore. You would now be a part of our little family, the three of us. I had waited for that day for so long. I just couldn't wait to meet you.
We were excited, and nervous and everything in-between. We had been planning for your arrival for 40 weeks. You would think that would be enough time to prepare for your arrival. In some aspects we were- we had all the baby gear under the sun, your room was painted, cleaned and ready, your name was picked out and we couldn't wait to meet you! But I don't think anyone could have prepared us for all of the sleepless nights, all of the questions we would have about the different colors of your poop or how excited we would get over a poopie diaper, or a sneeze, a smile, a point, a giggle,or the tremendous amount of joy that you would bring to our lives.

When we finally met you...you were perfect.

You were so tiny, and delicate, and perfect. I couldn't believe you were ours, forever. All ours. Still to this day, I sometimes wonder how we got so lucky that you are ours, we get to keep you. Your parents arent going to knock on the door any minute to pick you up...WE are your parents..wow, I still cant believe it!

365 days ago, you captured the hearts of our family. You can not imagine how much love and joy you have brought us.
You have taught me that I have an ever expanding heart. Everyday I wake up thinking I couldn't possibly love you anymore, but I do, everyday, I love you more!

Before you came, I was well-rested, in shape, my hair wasn't constantly in a ponytail, I slept in on the weekends, and I had no idea how much I could cry in one year! I cried because it was 3am, and you had been crying for two hours and we couldn't get you to go back to sleep, because it was 3am and I was rocking your warm body in my arms and I sat in awe of you, overtaken by the love I feel for you, or because you were giggling so hard it brought me to tears.

You have made me slow down, and notice many things that I had taken for granted--every bird that flies over head, every flower we pass gets the attention of your pointer finger, fans are hugely entertaining, Tupperware can entertain for hours, and balls never get boring. You remind me to explore the things that we all take for granted, the grass, straws, leaves, taking a bath, and smiling at strangers for no reason, only to make someones day.

I love listening to you talk in the car, and to watch you kick your legs and have a grin from ear to ear on your way to the bathtub, I love the way you snuggle with Larry when you sleep and hold on to him for dear life, I love the way you will humor me and "moooo" like a cow, and play peek-a-boo during every meal time. I love that you do the "thumb test" on everything and how you love to "work" with the newspaper. I love that you love to be scared, I love your huge smile, and the excitement you show me every single morning when I come to pick you up our of your crib. I love that you think its hilarious when we brush our teeth, and I love to watch you dance, and I love sharing my oatmeal with you in the morning.
You amaze me. To watch you grow and learn, and smile, and point, and crawl, and walk. I love you with every beat of my heart.
I can not believe it's been a year, the best year or our lives.
Happy Birthday to our little man, my Pumpkin, Bigs, our sweet baby boy. I cant believe its been a year!!!