It has become way too clear that keeping up this blog feels impossible right now. As I write this, it is December 15, 2024. We hosted our Hanukah party last night with all of our family and as I was dusting the shelves getting ready and looking at all my of books from years past, it made me so sad that I have-not continued. This year has been hard. My dad's health has been on the decline for the last few years, but this year has been quite the challenge. It has been almost 18 months since one of us has stayed the night at my parents house to help with my dad. Unfortunately, Ethan has taken the brunt of the caretaking since Rachel and I both have 4 young kids. We do our best to stay at least one night a week each so he can have a break. In the midst of helping with my dad, my mom not only had a knee replacement which meant more caretaking for us (absolutely not complaining, we were so happy to do it) but she recovered and then lost her balance doing a dog pose and fractured her back. This was awful for her. The pain was excruciating, she could barely move, she couldn't lift anything, my dad did not quite grasp the severity of what she was going through. It was terrible. They needed someone at the house basically 24 hours a day for the first almost 8 weeks. Oh and did I mention Ethan had a severe case of pneumonia when this happened and was home in bed for 3 weeks. My mom *hated* having caregivers there so we did out best to be the ones. The emotional toll of seeing my dad like this has impacted every part of my life it seems. I am doing my best to handle this anticipatory grief I have been experiencing. He has always been my hero. My dad. The patriarch of our family who was there for everyone. The smartest person I know who would do ANYTHING for me. I know how much he loves me because he never, ever misses an opportunity to tell me. I was not prepared to watch him go down like this.
Adding to the stress, was taking over the store in a way none of us anticipated. It has been such a huge learning curve. It feels almost like the we were thrown to the wolves. Just figure it out. Rachel and I are so lucky we have each other. I honestly do not think either of us could do. this alone. Having different strengths has been a god send. We balance each other out when it comes to the store.
Blaine retired December 30, 2023. This was also a huge change in our lives and another adjustment. If I have being completely honest, I was not ready for this. I struggled.🤞🤞 He would be there first to tell you this. But--it came at a time when things with my dad were not good and it afforded me the opportunity to be there to help my parents, so be at the store when I needed to be and did not have to work around his schedule anymore.
Oh, and I am raising 4 boys. Yeah, its a lot. I love every, single, challenging minute of it. But it is a lot.
Looking at all these years of books made me realize that even if I don't write posts like I used to, I want to have hard copies of all these memories to look back on, and for my boys to look back on.
I am setting a goal to half-ass finish out 2023 in pictures and maybe some captions and hopefully move on to 2024....so here goes some pictures...
